27 July 2014

"Do not wait for the morning to bring sunshine, find your happiness in God and put your boots on, it's going to be a spiritually rough winter.''

The meaning of life to me

If you ever that lucky to have a moment to think before death takes you, what would go through your mind? l

Last night I almost died, and in that moment awaiting my death, the thoughts that came into my mind was not to say a prayer,or  to think of all the good things I've done, or feeling proud of degrees or diplomas or the fact that I studied the bible. Also I did not think about my sins. I realized I was not afraid of death. The thought that went through my mind was "God you formed me in my mothers womb, Death is under Your power and You've sent  Death to fetch me." You know me and You search my heart, surely You are everywhere, even beyond death, there you will also be with me, it's the next season of Your plan for my life. I do not know if this place is heaven where I am going right now after death, or if there is a waiting room until the second coming of Christ, and then all the dead will rise and all the believers will go to heaven together. Lord I've studied Your Word, I know theologies about death and heaven, none of that matters now that my life is at end. Lord I have one question, what then was the meaning of my life?" All my family and people I love will mourn when I'm dead, terribly. A pain I cannot bare to see. So where ever I go after death I hope I'm not in a place where I can look down on them to see them cry at my funeral. Lord what is the meaning of life?" As I lay in bed I realized money means nothing, it makes your life easier but it has no real worth when you look with an eternal view. Patience,kindness,endurance and hope last eternally, but that's not the meaning of life either,  it is fruit of the Spirit which last even beyond death and builds your character on earth. But in the moment I faced death, it was not what gave me peace that I'm going to a safe place. What gave me peace was that I had a relationship with God, He was not a stranger in the moment of my death, he is my Father, this situation was like any other situation in my life, my Father's got my back. It was not like I had to awaken a sleeping God.

If you are still wondering why,how,when did I almost die, then you are missing the point.  Life is not about the little details, and the big things in life is really small.

I'm continuing living my life obeying God, practicing the fruit of the Spirit because there is much wisdom in that and it is who I am.  For any person, you don't even have to believe in that. If you mediate on the book of Proverbs and apply the wisdom to your life, believer or unbeliever- the quality of Your life will change incredibly. 

I've come to a conclusion there is not only one reason for the meaning of life, there are several and all of them are right, or all of them are wrong. God knows everything and my absence of understanding the meaning of Life or God, is not a reflection that God does not exist. 

For me the meaning of life is having a relationship with God. God searching the dept of my heart and Him sharing His heart with me.

Pablo Neruda- I do not love you

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.


I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.


I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. 

Robert Frost- Stopping by woods on a snowy evening

Robert Frost 

Whose woods these are I think I know.   

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

I started my own business today, it's small but it's mine

I started my own business today, it's small but it's mine.

fffffff

We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us

Life is too deep for words